Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

One of the questions I receive from business owners regularly is:  “Why don’t my clients take my advice?  I have their best interests at heart but they don’t want to listen to me.”

The answer lies not in what you say but in how you say it.  There are three specific steps that will help get people to put your good advice into practice.  They are:

1. Make an emotional appeal
2. Give them specific action steps to follow
3. Associate negative consequences with NOT following your advice

Here’s some additional detail on the steps listed above:

The Emotional Appeal – Ninety percent of all decisions that are made by humans in life are emotional decisions.  It is human nature to make decisions based upon our emotional reaction to a given situation and the JUSTIFY our decision with rational reasoning. 

This is even true in a business-to-business setting.  Once I was proposing a complex (and expensive) organizational effectiveness solution to a large multi-national company.  There was an involved bidding process that had my firm up against two large competitors.  My company nailed all of the presentations we gave to the decision-making board involved in this process.  Our solution was competitively priced.  We believed we were “a lock” to get the business.  When the decision was made, we found out the the deal was awarded to the highest priced competitor.  I asked for a meeting with the committee to debrief (mainly to find out why we were not selected so we could improve).  The head of the procurement committee responded with a statement that I will never forget.  She said: “Dave, your firm was a perfect fit in every way.  When we presented the proposals to the president of the company he told us that we needed to go with your competitor.  He said that his son played youth soccer with the president of the competing firm and he had a deep personal relationship with this man.  He believed that this relationship would help us receive better service and save us money in the long run.”

In the case highlighted above, the president’s emotional decision – justified by logic, trumped even the most compelling logical argument I could make.

When you make an appeal to someone to take your advice, focus on emotions such as trust, integrity and fear (more on that in a few paragraphs).  Emotions resonate with people.   That’s what they remember. 

Provide Specific Steps – We must make it easy for people to take the advice we provide.  There can be no ambiguity when we offer up our expertise. 

When you are taking a trip to a new place do you ever go on-line and print out a map and turn-by-turn directions?  Which portion of the printed guidance do you find easier to follow?  Most people respond that the turn-by-turn directions – the specific words - are easier to follow.  This is because our brain finds it easier to grasp the directions in small segments.  The map requires a specific visualization of the route and we all know that the map often does not accurately reflect the territory.

Giving people specific action steps to follow is a way to help them grasp one step at a time in a specific process.  It is far more likely that folks will listen to, and take advantage of, our guidance if we break it down into manageable chunks.

Clearly Articulate the Negative Consequences of NOT Following your Advice –  This is where fear comes in.  People are far more likely to take action to move AWAY from fear than they are to take action TOWARD pleasure.  This is just how we are wired.

One of my clients is a personal trainer.  He was having problems retaining clients after they went through the initial orientation session with him.  He made one seemingly minor change in his approach and he doubled his client base almost overnight.  At the outset of the orientation training session he wrote down the participant’s weight, hight and he calibrated their body fat.  He then proceeded to take them through the exercises in the gym that he recommended for them.  At the conclusion of the session he gave the participant an insurance actuarial chart that determined their life expectancy based upon their weight and their body fat.  Hen then circled the amount of years they were taking OFF of their life by being overweight.  The fear – in this case the fear of an early death – was enough to motivate over 80% of his clients to sign up with him for a 90–day training program.

Fear is healthy.  It keeps us from doing all kinds of stupid things that could harm us.  We can all learn how to use fear for our benefit in our personal lives as well as in our interactions with our clients.

Remember – these tips are only useful if you have the best interest of your clients in mind.  If you use them to manipulate your client, you may get them to take action in the short run but ultimately they will feel betrayed if they find out that you used them to make a quick buck.

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Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

Last week we discussed The Fear of Failure and its effect on business performance.  Over the past four days we have examined the Five Irrational Fears that many Entrepreneurs and Small Business Owners face.

Today week we are going to examine The Fear of Success.

As much as you want to be the best, you’re afraid that if you actually achieve more, others will dislike you, shun you, and think you’re arrogant. You may also feel that the pressure of being successful may be too great a load to bear or that you will never live up to the expectations of others.

It is true that it is easier to get to the top than it is to stay on top. This is partially due to increased competition and increased expectations that come along with success. However, the rewards of business success far outweigh the burden of the duty and responsibility associated with staying there.

The fear of success is often rooted deep in the subconscious mind of an entrepreneur or small business owner. Often there is a psychological barrier that many people don’t even realize exists.  Meeting regularly with someone who knows you and your business can often be helpful in working through these issues. 

This is where a business coach can make a dramatic difference in your business and your life.  A coach is not a physiologist and should never be considered a substitute for that type of care.  A trained coach can help a business owner/manager by identifying blind spots – opportunities in the business that a person who is close to the business might not see.  It is often the fear of success that creates these blind spots.

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Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

Yesterday we discussed The Fear of the Commitment and its effect on business performance.  Over the course of the next few days we will look specifically at the Five Irrational Fears that many Entrepreneurs and Small Business Owners face.

Today we are going to examine The Fear of Disapproval.

When you make changes or take risks you expose yourself to criticism. Other people may not like the change you’ve made, even if that change improves your life. When it comes to making a change, gaining approval can be the wind in your sails. When people who are important to you are skeptical or disagree with you, you feel like you are running up hill.

When we were kids, we all craved the approval of our parents and the elders in our social environment. People who grow up never gaining the approval of their parents (or other influential individuals) can often have a fear of disapproval that will limit their ability to take risks or to make critical changes in their business.

Working with a coach can help you overcome the fear of disapproval.  You and your coach will discuss critical decisions before you make them.  Your coach will help you weigh the pros and cons of all major decisions.  The ultimate decision will rest with you because you are the expert in your business BUT you will have the confidence of knowing that you have looked at the decision from all angles in an impartial and detached way.

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Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

As human beings, we all experience fear. Fear is an emotion that evolved as a form of protection from painful or possibly fatal situations. Rational fears protect us. Healthy fear keeps us from acting in ways that would put our lives in danger. It keeps us from walking into a lion’s den or placing our hands in a roaring fire. On the other hand, we develop irrational fears as the result of painful past experiences and conjure them up when we anticipate a similar negative experience. Irrational fears can hold us back and steal our dreams.

To help overcome irrational fear, many people use a great acronym that places it in the proper context. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.  This false evidence will often prevent us from making important decisions or taking critical steps to help shape our future.

Do you want to be proactive and shape your future? 
or
Do you want to react to whatever life has to throw at you?

Of course - you want to be - no, you need to be - proactive.

Sometimes we make excuses that help us cope with or mask our fear.  We let our minds play tricks on us.  We tell ourselves things that allow us to feel better while we do things that are truly not in our best interests.

What has FEAR prevented you from doing?

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Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

Making mistakes comes along with being a business owner.  They key is to minimize the exposure your business faces when you make mistakes.  Exposure means the negative financial implications associated with mistakes.

Too often business owners – smart people – fall into a trap that hurts their ability to succeed.  This trap is primarily one of arrogance or over-confidence.  What happens is that these people get “full of themselves”.  This over-confidence comes in three forms.  I have outlined them below. 

They Believe Their Own Press

 

How many times have we seen this one?  Someone wins an award or they get some coverage in a news story and they actually believe that this one event sums up their entire history and capabilities.  The problem comes when these fortunate people begin to forget about the fundamentals that help them garner some success in the first place. 

Don’t get me wrong, appearing in the media is great.  Winning awards is fantastic.  You just need to remember who you are, where you came from and the things that got you to this point.  If you lose focus for just one minute, there will be some other hungry business owner nipping at your heels.

They Forget the Past

 

All too often we see people who make the same mistakes over and over again.  This is the definition of crazy.  If you make a mistake one time you can almost always recover.  If you make the same mistake more multiple times you are asking for trouble.  

People who don’t remember the mistakes they have made in the past are destined to repeat them.  I’m not encouraging you to dwell on things that have gone wrong.  I am encouraging you to learn from things that you have experienced.  You must learn something from every project you undertake.  Learn something from every meeting you attend.  Learn something from every interaction.  Make lists of the positives and negatives from every situation.  Focus on reproducing the positives and eliminating the negatives.

They Think They Have the Right to Judge Other People

 

Your way is not the only way.  Everyone brings different experiences to the table.  Everyone has a different frame of reference.  

The minute you start to judge the choices that other people have made is the minute you lose focus on your own future.  Energy spent judging others is wasted.  Time you spend focusing on the decisions other people make – from a judgmental perspective – is time that is wasted. 

It is fine to study other businesses for learning purposes.  Unfortunately, most people discuss the actions of others purely to gossip.  This will hurt you.  Gossip is wasted time and energy.  Don’t judge the actions of others.  Focus your energy on making the best decision possible for yourself and for your business.

People make mistakes.  Smart people make mistakes.  There are many, many ways to avoid failure.  One of the best ways I know of is to keep your feet on the ground and keep your mind focused.  Avoiding these three errors is a great way to start down the path to success.

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Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

Most people take the path of least resistance.  It is human nature.  People want the maximum amount of return from the least amount of effort.  Most of us want Warren Buffet money with a Jimmy Buffet lifestyle.   

Is it wrong to be this way?

That is a trick question.

Physical work does not guarantee financial prosperity (these days it does not even guarantee financial comfort).  The work ethic that John Calvin espoused has no foundation in reality.  Working long hours does not make you a good person.  Working long hours does not guarantee success.  Yet most of us feel a sense of guilt when we are out of the office.  All of us have been taught that hard work will lead to success.  While this axiom is true today, the concept of hard work has changed. 

Physical labor has been replaced by mental labor.  Hard work is still necessary for success but hard work can no longer be judged by the hours you put in at the office – or with the client.  Working hard today involves spending time thinking through the potential outcomes of situations.  It involves looking at situations from multiple perspectives. It also involves listening to people who have had experiences that may be similar to what you are going through.  Proactively seeking this information involves work.  It is not heavy physical lifting but it does involve effort. 

The byproduct of this new model of  hard work is the “virtual work environment”.  As a business coach and advisor I can think about my clients’ business challenges on my couch at home or I can do it in my office.  I can interact with my clients on the phone, via e-mail, in a video conference or in person.  My accountant can receive my tax information via express mail and consult with me on the phone.  He can then express the documents back to me for my signature. I can even plan a wedding, buy a suit or commission a work of art without leaving the comfort of my kitchen. Physical presence is no longer required to conduct business in a large number of industries.

Yet we continue to use physical presence, in many cases hours worked, as a measure of success. 

How long did you work on that project?  Did you go into the office on Saturday? How much time did you put in with that company?  These are the wrong questions business owners and leaders regularly ask their associates. 

The right questions are based around the outcome of the interaction. 

What was the return on investment from your work with that client? Did the you save the client money this past year? How much value did you provide the firm? What did you sell to the client and how much did we make from it?  These are some of the correct questions.  If the answers to these questions are positive, why does time matter?  Why should time be used to measure effort?      

Technology has forced us to take a more intellectual approach to the way we conduct business but it has not helped alleviate the guilt we feel when we don’t spend physical time in the office or with the client.  The perception of laziness still exists when people don’t see us hanging around.  If you own or lead a business, this can be damaging.  You need to teach your employees that work gets done (maybe even more efficiently) when you (and they) are not around the office.  This must become part of the culture of your work environment. How can you make this happen?  Here are four areas to look at:

Rewards and Recognition

Reward people based upon results and not based upon perception of effort.  Salary increases, commission and promotions should all be aligned with value creation (for the clients and for the company) and not based upon hours worked or seniority.

Learning and Development

You (the business owner/leader) should place a premium on learning from every interaction with a client.  Every project – good or bad – successful or unsuccessful – should be formally reviewed by the team.  Opportunities for improvement should be distilled, even from the most successful projects.  These opportunities should be compiled in a central location.  This can be as simple as a binder with some hand written notes, or as complex as an automated knowledge management system.  The key is that there is one central location for all information and that information can be accessed easily.

Often learning and development suffers when workers are not all physically present in the same location.  It is critical to keep people engaged in learning even though they may be in separate physical locations.

Frequent Social Events

Social activity is critical to the success of any organization.  Invite all employees to get together frequently (monthly or quarterly) for a purely social gathering.  Do not force a work discussion on them at these events.  Allow them simply to get to know one another (and you).  The bond of friendship that forms will only help your business.  After all, you would not let a friend down in a time of need.

Acknowledge “Timeless and Locationless” Work

Let people know that achieving outstanding results while physically working less than 40 hours per week in the office is acceptable.  In my firm we have several multi-million dollar sales people who rarely show up at the office.  Nobody knows what they are doing yet somehow, magically, each of them always blow away his/her quota. Are they working hard?  You bet.  Some of them might be on the phone with a client for five hours in order to close a big deal.  Does it matter if they take this phone call from their desk or from the beach?  Not to me it doesn’t. 

The key to success is to establish a culture that does not place a premium on the quantity of work but on the quality of it.

We need to establish a new paradigm for effort in the modern work world.  That paradigm should be based upon results in conjunction with the culture of the company.  If the results are achieved, and the process that lead to those results was legal, moral and ethical, why should the amount of time spent on that effort matter?

Some of the most successful business owners and leaders I have ever met are also some of the laziest people in the world.  If you can get your job done in less than 40 hours per week you should be hailed as a hero and everyone in your company should learn from you.

 

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Posted by Dave Lorenzo - Business Coach

Do you recognize any of these behaviors?

• You keep doing the same things over and over, even if they don’t work, because they are familiar.
• You’d like to improve your relationship with someone in your life – maybe a friend or family member – but something (maybe pride, maybe just plain stubbornness) keeps you from doing it.
• There’s someone you want to meet – a potential client, a a networking contact or maybe a member of the opposite sex– but there always seems to be a reason not to introduce yourself.
• You hate your job yet you stay there, month after month, year after year, just waiting for the “big opportunity” that will “force” you to leave.

Believe it or not, most people will relate to one or more of these statements. 

We all make excuses from time-to-time.  Sometimes these excuses are based in fear. Sometimes they are simply based in laziness (we embrace the path of least resistance).

There is a process you can use to make certain that you do not fall victim to excuses ever again.

Click here to read the entire article.

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